Out of the fog.

My third treatment came and went. I'm so happy to have it behind me. After a couple days, I am starting to feel better physically. I keep expecting to be slammed and down and out. I am so grateful that for some reason, my body is seemingly able to fight the drugs off. Sure, at times I am so exhausted that I want to just collapse and cry... but for the most part, my body is staying strong!

My frame of mind and my optimism seem to be my biggest struggle at this time. It is challenging for me as I can see myself being irrational or how the little things affect me in ways that I wish they didn't. I know it is temporary. I know that it is part of the havoc these drugs wreck on my body!

After 2 months, it doesn't get easier to walk into a room and feel and catch the stares. I have yet to get used to walking by a mirror or reflection of myself. I pride myself on being strong physically and mentally. With each treatment, this power slips away just a bit.

I know that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. In a clear mind... I can see that this already has made me stronger. I hate it with every piece of my being - but I will grow and learn what I am meant to from this experience.